When you start looking for support, it often doesn’t take long to feel overwhelmed. Counselling, coaching, therapy – what do these terms actually mean, and how do they differ? And even once you’ve got that figured out, another big question usually arises: What does it actually look like? And what should you expect if you decide to seek professional help?
Metaphors can be a helpful way to make sense of it all. They make abstract processes more tangible and help develop a deeper understanding of inner workings. In my work as a psychologist and therapist, I frequently turn to metaphors. Not only do images and comparisons make these internal processes easier to explain, but they also often help us articulate our own experiences more clearly. In this post, I’d like to share three metaphors I often use to describe the therapeutic process.
Photo: by Alvaro Palacios on Pexels
1. Climbing the Mountain
Life can sometimes feel like a mountain – steep, challenging, and with a peak that seems impossibly far away. In therapy, we often use this image to capture what it takes to face tough challenges or move toward meaningful personal goals. At first, the path will look steep, and the summit – the goal of therapy – might seem entirely out of reach. But just like on a real hike, progress happens one small step at a time.
In the beginning, it can feel difficult to even just start the journey. The mountain might seem too high, the climb too exhausting, or the direction unclear. But over time, you will find your rhythm, learn to manage the uphill stretches, and realise you’re much stronger than you thought.
Of course, sometimes the view will still be obstructed – fog can appear, or it can feel like you’re not making any progress. In those moments, it can help to pause, rest, and look back at how far you’ve already come. And just like on a real mountain tour, it can make a huge difference to have someone walking beside you. And that’s where I come in – to help you find your path and support you through the tougher stretches.
The summit represents the goals of our work together – whether that’s more self-acceptance, inner strength, or greater clarity. But often, the real transformation actually happens along the way. You uncover new strengths, develop tools you didn’t know you had, and learn how to handle setbacks. And when you finally reach the top, the view will be all the more rewarding because of the work it took to get there.
If the idea of a summit doesn’t quite work for you, there’s a variation of this metaphor that might resonate more: some of my clients describe the process as reaching the other side of the mountain. Sometimes, we’re simply facing a huge barrier – a mountain of tasks or emotions – and the question becomes how to get over it, around it, or through it. As one client once put it, they felt like they were trying to dig a tunnel through the mountain with their bare hands, even though there might actually be a way over the top or around the side.
2. The Metaphor of the Onion
The onion metaphor describes therapy as a gentle process of peeling back layers. These layers can represent old experiences and emotional wounds, protective behaviours, or patterns you’ve developed over time.
The outer layers of the onion often reflect what brings someone to therapy in the first place – current symptoms or specific challenges. But underneath, there are often deeper layers: early experiences, emotional injuries, or unhelpful beliefs that influence how you think, feel, and act.
Uncovering these layers takes time, and it’s not always easy – just like slicing a real onion, it can sometimes also bring tears. But each layer we explore brings greater clarity and a deeper understanding of yourself. And the closer we get to the core, the more space there is for real, lasting change.
3. The Wastepaper Bin Metaphor
Sometimes, life can feel like an overflowing wastepaper bin – stuffed full of crumpled pages that represent the thoughts, worries, and problems that have piled up over time.
In the beginning, the pile of paper can feel chaotic and overwhelming. It seems as if there is no more room left, and everything is just getting too much. But instead of cramming in more papers or trying to force the lid shut, therapy offers a different approach: we start taking out those crumpled pages and gently unfolding them, one by one.
As you smooth out each page, you begin to see what’s really written there. Some issues might seem less threatening once you look more closely. Others might become clearer. And some you may even be ready to let go of altogether. We then fold the pages neatly and place them back – only now, they take up much less space.
This process brings order to the chaos and makes room for whatever comes next. It shows that problems often feel less overwhelming when we take the time to look at them calmly and with structure, instead of pushing them away. Therapy offers the space and support to do exactly that – to gradually make sense of what’s there, release some of the pressure, and create space for new, more positive experiences.
These three metaphors are just a glimpse, and there are countless other ways to visualise the therapeutic process. Ultimately, it’s not about finding the perfect metaphor. It’s about being willing to take the first step. Because change doesn’t start with a perfect understanding – it starts with the decision to begin.
If you’d like to know more about what counselling looks like in practice, feel free to check out my post on what to expect from your first counselling session. It includes helpful information on how to prepare and what that initial meeting is going to be like.
*****
If you found these metaphors helpful, you might also enjoy the therapeutic stories on my blog. And if you’d like to receive regular insights from my practice, along with tips for your mental health and well-being, sign up for my monthly newsletter!
