What’s the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? For many of us, reaching for our phone has become such an automatic part of our morning routine that we barely notice ourselves doing it. Before we’re even fully awake, our minds are filled with new messages, social media posts, and emails. And it usually doesn’t stop there. Instead of simply waiting in line, sitting on the train or having a few quiet minutes of doing nothing, we fill every spare moment by looking at our phones. So it’s no surprise that so many people feel exhausted and overwhelmed by their digital lives.
At the same time, I’ve also noticed an interesting countertrend. Friends, colleagues, and clients alike tell me they’ve gone back to reading print newspapers, writing letters, or simply picking up the phone to have a real conversation instead of endless messaging. It shows that many of us long for a more intentional way of engaging with digital media and a more balanced relationship between our online and offline lives. And that’s where digital self-care comes in.
Photo: Polina Tankilevitch, Pexels
Are we addicted to our devices?
Many of us pick up our phones countless times a day. We reach for them while eating breakfast or brushing our teeth, at traffic lights, in the supermarket queue, or on the sofa in the evening, while watching a movie. These small, automatic gestures have become so normal to us that we rarely even question them. Not every glance at the phone is problematic, but put together, these habits shape our everyday lives. And that’s why it’s worth pausing from time to time and paying closer attention to how we engage with the digital world.
Our phones and the apps we use with them are designed to capture our attention. They offer us constant little rewards, such as new photos, likes on our posts, messages or interesting articles. And it’s these small rewards that keep us coming back.
Many of us also feel pressured to reply to messages and emails instantly, to always be available and somehow keep up with everything that’s going on around us.
And in addition to that, our news consumption has also changed significantly in recent years. Many people now use social media as a primary news source, where reports about crises, wars and disasters appear alongside cat videos, memes and holiday photos from friends. And even when we are not actively checking them, many of us still receive alerts and notifications from news apps throughout the day.
Within seconds, we can go from something funny or completely mundane to images and stories about war, disasters or other distressing events. Before we have had much time to process what we have just seen, our attention is already being pulled towards the next post, headline or notification.
It’s hardly surprising that this constant switching and stream of information can leave us feeling overwhelmed. Over time, it can make it harder to focus, properly rest or fully switch off. It can also affect our sleep and use up attention and energy we might rather spend elsewhere.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. The more we observe and question our habits, the easier it becomes to develop a more intentional relationship with digital media.
What is digital self-care?
Digital self-care means being mindful of how you use your time, attention, and energy in the digital world. It’s not about demonising technology or going completely offline, but about making intentional choices about how, when, and for what purpose we want to use digital media and when it may be better to step away from the screens.
It involves setting boundaries, planning breaks, and creating moments in which we’re not constantly reachable or distracted. A more mindful use of digital media can help us to use our attention more deliberately, feel less driven, and reconnect with ourselves and our surroundings. It’s not about total abstinence, but about balance and using technology in a responsible way, rather than being used by it.
5 steps towards healthier digital habits
Digital self-care rarely requires drastic changes. Often, all it takes is simply pausing and deciding how much space digital media should have in your life. Even small adjustments can help you regain a sense of control, reduce mental load, and free up energy for the things that truly matter.
These five tips offer simple, practical ways to integrate digital self-care into your everyday life and develop a more mindful approach to your phone, news, and social media.
1. Observe your own habits
The first step is simply noticing when you reach for your phone and why. Is it out of curiosity or boredom? Or to fill a brief pause? Just observing this can already provide insights.
Your phone’s screentime or digital well-being features can provide insights here, as they don’t just show how much time you spend on certain apps, but also how often you open them. That frequency often reveals even more about our habits than total usage time. Once you notice in which situations you tend to reach for your phone, you can make more deliberate choices.
2. Limit notifications and screen time
Use features like “Do Not Disturb” or focus modes to keep certain times, e.g. working hours or family time, free from interruptions. Consider which app notifications you really need, and disable automatic email syncing.
It can also help to do certain tasks only from your computer, instead of always being tempted to quickly do them on your phone. This makes them more intentional and reduces the risk of distraction (as long as notifications are also disabled on your computer).
Set realistic goals and limits, such as checking emails only twice a day or limiting social media to an hour in the evening.
3. Plan digital breaks intentionally
Integrate screen-free moments into your day, for example during meals, on a walk, or before bedtime. Keeping certain places, such as the bedroom, completely offline, can make unwinding and falling asleep easier. Starting your day offline, perhaps with a cup of coffee and a newspaper or a brief moment of mindfulness while brushing your teeth, can also make a difference.
You can also try leaving your phone at home when you leave the house or keeping it in your bag or pocket while you’re meeting up with someone. Observe how often you feel the urge to reach for it and why. If you want to take it a step further, you could even try spending an entire day offline.
4. Consume news intentionally
Staying informed is important, but a constant stream of breaking news can be overwhelming. Define specific times for reading the news, such as once in the morning or once in the early evening.
Choose your sources intentionally. Calm, reliable formats often provide more clarity than constant updates or social media feeds. It can also help to turn off push notifications for news apps or use just one source instead of switching between many. This way, you stay in control of when you engage with the news.
5. Rediscover offline routines
When was the last time you wrote a letter or sent a postcard? Or simply sat in a café for a few minutes without reaching for your phone?
Try bringing back some small offline habits. Write a few lines in a notebook, go to the cinema and leave your phone at home, or spend an evening doing just one thing at a time: cooking, knitting, watching a film or simply sitting on the sofa and unwinding.
These small analogue moments often bring more calm into daily life and remind us that there are many ways to connect with the world beyond our screens.
Digital self-care in everyday life
Digital self-care is not about giving up your phone or trying to avoid technology altogether. It is about becoming more aware of how digital media fits into your life and making conscious choices about when it adds something and when it simply takes up your attention.
You don’t need to change all of your habits at once. Perhaps you start by turning off a few notifications, leaving your phone in another room while you eat, or noticing how often you reach for it simply because you have a spare moment.
By treating your digital time, attention, and energy with care, you gain not only clarity and calm, but also more presence for the people, activities and moments that truly matter.
*****
If these patterns feel familiar and you would like to explore them further, you can find out more about my online counselling services here. And if you’d like to receive regular thoughts and practical suggestions from my practice, subscribe to my monthly newsletter.
